Thursday, January 2, 2014
Monday, September 9, 2013
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
I can't believe I am even writing this post. This has been a crazy few weeks for us at the Harris house. Ryder got his name tag in the mail for PRE-SCHOOL! YES, you read that right. I just can't believe it. He is going to our church preschool program 3 days a week and starts on Sept. 4th. I'm sure to most this isn't a big deal, but to this stay-at-home mommy who has snuggled and played 24/7 with this boy it is a BIG DEAL!
Not even a week after his name tag came, which I cried over, he turned 4. Feel free to leave Aug. 17th off of the calendar next year because I don't think my heart can take anymore. I have no idea why 4 seems so old to me but it does. We decided a while back that we weren't going to have a big party for Ryder this year. My dear hubby said, "Who gets a extravagant party every year?". Uhhh who doesn't?!? But I reluctantly agreed. Friday night we invited our family to meet us at McDonald's along with a few close friends to celebrate. Somehow we ended up filling the whole place plus some. This "dinner" ended up feeling like a chaotic big birthday party. I think I convinced the dear hubby to allow me to throw my over-the-top, organized, parties again from now on :). So in a nut-shell I won :) (Happy wife = happy life)
Ryder on the other hand had so much fun! I didn't see my 3, (Ryder, Abigail, and Christopher-foster child) the entire time, except when the cake was cut. Ryder kept telling me he was having fun and that he loved me. It's the small things right?? He got so many fun gifts and I am still trying to figure out how to add 3 stories to our house just to fit them all inside. I'll let y'all know how that works out.
That night Abigail went to my sister-in-law's house for her first SLEEPOVER (yes I missed her terribly and was thankful I was sent pictures throughout the night) and my nephew Ethan switched houses so we had an "all boy" sleepover. The kids stayed up until midnight playing with all of the new toys and watching movies. When we woke up we had chocolate donuts which is a Ryder birthday tradition in my house.
This is Ryder's 1st, 3rd, and 4th donut birthday morning...sadly I couldn't find a picture of his 2nd :(
We also opened more presents and went out to lunch. Saturday night we all headed to the movies to watch Disney Planes. It was a little chilly that day so I decided it would be a good time to break out one of Abigail's fall outfits, she is the cutest little girl in the world! I just can't get enough!!
The kids were a little restless but ended up making it through the whole thing which was great! We ended the night with some ice cream in our pjs.
Ryder had a great birthday and I am one old mommy, or at least feel like one. He has been the sweetest, craziest boy and I am beyond lucky to be his momma. I love that boy to pieces and am slowly learning/having to let go......well maybe just a "little" :).
Thursday, August 15, 2013
"Your word inside of me My strength, my everything My hope will always be Jesus Your breath inside my lungs You're worthy of my trust You will forever be Jesus You are loving, You are wise There is nothing in my life You cannot revive You are loving, You are wise There is nothing too hard for our God Nothing is wasted You work all things for good Nothing is wasted Your promise remains Forever You reign
The truth is, whether I like it or not, Abbie doesn't belong to her biological parents, the state, or us. She is HIS and today it felt like a punch in the face. One that I needed. Whether we get to adopt her and love on her forever or whether we get her for these 7 months NOTHING IS WASTED!- HE works ALL things for good. Maybe we can't see them now but even if she isn't better because of us, I can already tell you we are better because of her.Tonight when I snuck into her room to tell her goodnight, she looked up at me and said, "Mommy I love you THHIIISSS much" and stretched out her arms as far as she could. I just melted. That girl has my heart and always will. I can honestly tell her when she grows up she has kept me on my toes, and on my knees more in these 4 months than I can ever remember. It's a hard thing being torn between biological parents and foster/adoptive parents. The truth is she needs all of us in her life and she SHOULD have all of us. I have said from the beginning, as long as it is safe/loving contact I would love for our adoptive child/ren to have their biological parens in their lives. I couldn't imagine growing up not knowing who my biological parents were. She deserves everyone to be a part of her life and have everyone loving her. I hope we can come to an agreement if it gets that far. After all we are all wanting what is best for her.. right?? I can't imagine her not being with us, and I just don't want to. Right now we are going to take it one day at a time and trust that what is best for her will happen. We are completly in love with that little girl, and that is all we need to show her right now, just more and more love.
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
We took so many trips this summer and made so many sweet memories and firsts together that it makes my heart want to burst at how amazing God is and how he changed our lives at just the right moment. But I always feel that a lot of people sugar coat their lives and don't tell you the "real"moments. With that being said adoption/fostering comes with SO many hard times it makes me really stop and remind myself that 6 months ago, I was on my knees praying for Abigail and wandering what was taking so long. Although the transition has been so smooth and so much better than we could have hoped for, a child that has been in foster care for almost all of her life is not a "normal" child no matter how great they raised her.
She still tries to eat so much food that it literally will make her sick. She keeps food in her mouth for at least 15 minutes after we have eaten just to make sure she doesn't go hungry. That is NOT ok. Just typing it makes me want to cry. If I am not giving her attention she acts out and screams and stomps, maybe typical behavior for a 2 year old, but I know its something deeper. She seeks all of the attention I can give her perhaps because she didn't get any. All of this turns my stomach and makes me stay up late at night thinking all of the "what ifs?". But what makes me even more upset, is how people look at us when we are out in public and she is throwing a fit, or looking for attention by crying for 30 minutes. They are wandering why I don't just "snatch up that child and woop her" (Yes they said that to me). But wait it gets better, how about the people in the checkout line that see me using her WIC checks and glare and make their assumptions that I am "living off the government", and making their assumptions on how I drive a nice car and are wearing nice clothes. - What is sad, is that when all of these people make their judgements I get embarrassed and want to scream SHES IN FOSTER CARE! WE'VE ONLY HAD HER 2 MONTHS! And anything else I can ramble on to make them understand. But the truth is I don't need to, and I shouldn't feel that way. God has blessed us way more than we could have ever imagined and all of those stares and comments don't matter. Because honestly THEY are the ones missing out. Missing out on how awesome it is to give kids a home when they don't have one. How awesome it is to hold her tight in the middle of a tantrum and tell her how much you love her and that you aren't going anywhere. Or how awesome it is that after 2 months of telling her over and over we love her, she says it back now. That my friends is worth all of the comments, all of the evil stares, and all of the judgements any bystanders have about me or my family. I think what she has taught me the most is that you NEVER know what someone else is going through. You never know if that mom or dad has been up all night or if they just need a break. As mom's we judge others so quickly and jump to think, "If that was my child, I'd ____). Instead of thinking "You know what, I've been there!". I have definetly been counting my blessings a lot more and thanking God for this challenging time we are in right now. It's hard but the good times outweigh the hard times BY A MILLION!
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Ryder has been THE BEST big brother in the world. That boy has surpassed all of my hopes on how this would be adjusting to another child in the house. He has been so beyond sweet to her, reading books to her, kisses, hugs, you name it! They still have yet to get in a fight- I know, I know its coming but this little transition period has been a breeze so far. They all say though, eventually the honeymoon will end, and I've got to say I hope it doesn't!
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
We have had SO much fun getting to know her and she is the happiest, little girl and we are so blessed to have her. We have prayed for her for over a year and for her to finally get here is amazing. God had a plan for us that was SO much bigger than the plans we had for ourselves. If you feel God calling you to do something or go somewhere LISTEN! You will not be dissapointed! I can't even begin to write all of the things that "miraculously" fell into place for us to get her. Just like it says in Ephesians 3:20, "God can do anything, you know - far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us."
Here are some pictures!