Nothing is Wasted

August 15th...this is the day I have been looking forward to the most since we have had Abbie. Today was the day we expected her parental rights to be terminated, which would let us move forward with the adoption process. Eric took a half day so we could go to the court together, and I planned on us going out to eat tonight to celebrate her being "Legally free". I couldn't wait to post a picture of us with our "thumbs up" and smiling from ear to ear saying, "We are ONE BIG step closer!".

But God is in control, and my plans aren't always His. I am not going to go into detail about specifics, but we will have another court date in 3 months to terminate the rights if the parents don't step up. This adoption thing is crazy ya'll. One minute you think it's a done deal, and the next you are crying the whole way back to your house wandering if you will get to watch her grow up. A song that I just can't get enough of, is "Nothing is Wasted" by Elevation Worship. It's pretty amazing stuff...

"Your word inside of me My strength, my everything My hope will always be Jesus Your breath inside my lungs You're worthy of my trust You will forever be Jesus You are loving, You are wise There is nothing in my life You cannot revive You are loving, You are wise There is nothing too hard for our God Nothing is wasted You work all things for good Nothing is wasted Your promise remains Forever You reign

The truth is, whether I like it or not, Abbie doesn't belong to her biological parents, the state, or us. She is HIS and today it felt like a punch in the face. One that I needed. Whether we get to adopt her and love on her forever or whether we get her for these 7 months NOTHING IS WASTED!- HE works ALL things for good. Maybe we can't see them now but even if she isn't better because of us, I can already tell you we are better because of her.

Tonight when I snuck into her room to tell her goodnight, she looked up at me and said, "Mommy I love you THHIIISSS much" and stretched out her arms as far as she could. I just melted. That girl has my heart and always will. I can honestly tell her when she grows up she has kept me on my toes, and on my knees more in these 4 months than I can ever remember. It's a hard thing being torn between biological parents and foster/adoptive parents. The truth is she needs all of us in her life and she SHOULD have all of us. I have said from the beginning, as long as it is safe/loving contact I would love for our adoptive child/ren to have their biological parens in their lives. I couldn't imagine growing up not knowing who my biological parents were. She deserves everyone to be a part of her life and have everyone loving her. I hope we can come to an agreement if it gets that far. After all we are all wanting what is best for her.. right?? I can't imagine her not being with us, and I just don't want to. Right now we are going to take it one day at a time and trust that what is best for her will happen. We are completly in love with that little girl, and that is all we need to show her right now, just more and more love.