Where have the years gone?

I can't believe I am even writing this post. This has been a crazy few weeks for us at the Harris house. Ryder got his name tag in the mail for PRE-SCHOOL! YES, you read that right. I just can't believe it. He is going to our church preschool program 3 days a week and starts on Sept. 4th. I'm sure to most this isn't a big deal, but to this stay-at-home mommy who has snuggled and played 24/7 with this boy it is a BIG DEAL!

Not even a week after his name tag came, which I cried over, he turned 4. Feel free to leave Aug. 17th off of the calendar next year because I don't think my heart can take anymore. I have no idea why 4 seems so old to me but it does. We decided a while back that we weren't going to have a big party for Ryder this year. My dear hubby said, "Who gets a extravagant party every year?". Uhhh who doesn't?!? But I reluctantly agreed. Friday night we invited our family to meet us at McDonald's along with a few close friends to celebrate. Somehow we ended up filling the whole place plus some. This "dinner" ended up feeling like a chaotic big birthday party. I think I convinced the dear hubby to allow me to throw my over-the-top, organized, parties again from now on :). So in a nut-shell I won :) (Happy wife = happy life)



Ryder on the other hand had so much fun! I didn't see my 3, (Ryder, Abigail, and Christopher-foster child) the entire time, except when the cake was cut. Ryder kept telling me he was having fun and that he loved me. It's the small things right?? He got so many fun gifts and I am still trying to figure out how to add 3 stories to our house just to fit them all inside. I'll let y'all know how that works out.




That night Abigail went to my sister-in-law's house for her first SLEEPOVER (yes I missed her terribly and was thankful I was sent pictures throughout the night) and my nephew Ethan switched houses so we had an "all boy" sleepover. The kids stayed up until midnight playing with all of the new toys and watching movies. When we woke up we had chocolate donuts which is a Ryder birthday tradition in my house.

This is Ryder's 1st, 3rd, and 4th donut birthday morning...sadly I couldn't find a picture of his 2nd :(

 We also   opened more presents and went out to lunch. Saturday  night we all headed to the movies to watch Disney Planes. It was a little chilly that day so I decided it would be a good time to break out one of Abigail's fall outfits, she is the cutest little girl in the world! I just can't get enough!!

 The kids were a little restless but ended up making it through the whole thing which was great! We ended the night with some ice cream in our pjs.

Ryder had a great birthday and I am one old mommy, or at least feel like one. He has been the sweetest, craziest boy and I am beyond lucky to be his momma. I love that boy to pieces and am slowly learning/having to let go......well maybe just a "little" :).

Nothing is Wasted

August 15th...this is the day I have been looking forward to the most since we have had Abbie. Today was the day we expected her parental rights to be terminated, which would let us move forward with the adoption process. Eric took a half day so we could go to the court together, and I planned on us going out to eat tonight to celebrate her being "Legally free". I couldn't wait to post a picture of us with our "thumbs up" and smiling from ear to ear saying, "We are ONE BIG step closer!".

But God is in control, and my plans aren't always His. I am not going to go into detail about specifics, but we will have another court date in 3 months to terminate the rights if the parents don't step up. This adoption thing is crazy ya'll. One minute you think it's a done deal, and the next you are crying the whole way back to your house wandering if you will get to watch her grow up. A song that I just can't get enough of, is "Nothing is Wasted" by Elevation Worship. It's pretty amazing stuff...

"Your word inside of me My strength, my everything My hope will always be Jesus Your breath inside my lungs You're worthy of my trust You will forever be Jesus You are loving, You are wise There is nothing in my life You cannot revive You are loving, You are wise There is nothing too hard for our God Nothing is wasted You work all things for good Nothing is wasted Your promise remains Forever You reign

The truth is, whether I like it or not, Abbie doesn't belong to her biological parents, the state, or us. She is HIS and today it felt like a punch in the face. One that I needed. Whether we get to adopt her and love on her forever or whether we get her for these 7 months NOTHING IS WASTED!- HE works ALL things for good. Maybe we can't see them now but even if she isn't better because of us, I can already tell you we are better because of her.

Tonight when I snuck into her room to tell her goodnight, she looked up at me and said, "Mommy I love you THHIIISSS much" and stretched out her arms as far as she could. I just melted. That girl has my heart and always will. I can honestly tell her when she grows up she has kept me on my toes, and on my knees more in these 4 months than I can ever remember. It's a hard thing being torn between biological parents and foster/adoptive parents. The truth is she needs all of us in her life and she SHOULD have all of us. I have said from the beginning, as long as it is safe/loving contact I would love for our adoptive child/ren to have their biological parens in their lives. I couldn't imagine growing up not knowing who my biological parents were. She deserves everyone to be a part of her life and have everyone loving her. I hope we can come to an agreement if it gets that far. After all we are all wanting what is best for her.. right?? I can't imagine her not being with us, and I just don't want to. Right now we are going to take it one day at a time and trust that what is best for her will happen. We are completly in love with that little girl, and that is all we need to show her right now, just more and more love.