Eric's Birthday!

Last night we went out to eat for Eric's birthday with some friends and family and it was a lot of fun! We got Eric a cookie cake that had blue icing on it and I think between all of our kids and ourselves we were all covered head to toe in blue icing! It was a mess!!! We had a great time!

We are D-O-N-E!!!

Saturday Eric and I finished our last adoption training class and handed in ALL of our remaining paperwork for the adoption....did you read what I said??? WE ARE DONE!!!! This is so crazy to me! I was told that this process would take at least 6 months just to be approved and here we are 3 days shy of 1 month from when we started and we have done EVERYTHING that is left for us to do! The only thing we are waiting on is our inspections and approval from DHEC! Our caseworker told us this is the best position we can be in, having done everything and end up just "waiting" on them. I can't get over how fast this has gone and how easy this has been. Not to mention such a positive experience with all of the DSS workers we have come in contact with. They all LOVE their jobs and are so encouraging for all of us "adoptees" its really been amazing. We were told that by the lastest, we will be approved by July 1st. That would put us at the 3 month mark! How awesome is that? That is HALF of the time we were told! Anything could still happen so I don't want to get too excited but God is good! We were also told that it could take us anywhere from right away to a year to be placed with a child. I am REALLY REALLY REALLY hoping that by Christmas we will have our new addition, but I know it will all happen in its perfect time!   My new friend VANESSA told us in class about a book she is reading called, "The Connected Child" so I went to the bookstore and picked it up. I am so excited about reading it, I know it will help us. I also bought a book the day after we turned in our first application called, "God Found Us You". It's a children's book and is the sweetest book in the world explaining (to a degree) about adoption. We should get a letter soon from the Fire Inspector with a date that he is coming!

The Key To My Heart...

I have to blog about this because now, it seems hilarious and I know I am going to want a good laugh (and some embarassing stories) when he gets older. and totally in my speech at his wedding This morning I took all 3 kids for a walk, we call them "bear hunts". I am not sure if you have ever read the "Going on a Bear Hunt" book but its really cute, and was one of my favorites when I was a child. Well, around 3:30 I looked out the window and realized that I had left the stroller outside on the sidewalk. I was in a panic because it looked like a torrential downpour was about to occur and I did NOT want that thing getting wet because its a pain to take apart and wash. ANYWAYS I went out the glass door, and pulled the main door shut behind me because Ryder can now open the glass door and I didn't want the babies to fall out. They like to stand and lean up against the door and I can just picture their cute little faces hitting that concrete.... well I quickly folded it up and set it on the porch and reached for the door handle to realize it was locked... not just locked on the bottom but DEAD BOLTED! My heart was in my toes, here I was outside of my house, LOCKED outside of my house, waiting for it to pour, with 3 children inside. I quickly said Ryder unlock the door! He said, "WHAT?!?" like he had no idea what I was talking about, even though he had JUST locked the bottom lock AND THE DEADBOLT! I started saying it over and over and over and he kept saying WHAT? over and over and over. All I could think about was having to go across the street to the neighbors to call Eric to wait an hour for him to come home. By this time the twins dad would be getting here, and wandering why I was outside and his kids were inside, LOCKED inside. All the while I have two 1 year olds, and a CRAZY 2 year old inside doing WHO KNOWS WHAT to the house and each other! I then thought, ok how can I "break" into this door, are my windows locked, did I lock the backdoor? So I ran around the back and THANK YOU JESUS I had left it unlocked! But I will have to say spare keys are being made, Ryder is learning a BIG lesson and this will NEVER happen again!!! WHAT a scare!!

He better be glad he's so cute because he always makes me smile even when I want to scream!

Transracial Adoption

When I went to my first adoption meeting and met with our caseworker we had to choose if we would accept children of any race. Without hesitation I said, Yes. I never hesitated, and I'm still not hesitant I know that God will place us with the right child whether he/she is black or white or Chinese or Hispanic. She let me know that by saying that, we will most likely get an African American child. She explained to us that most of the orphans in SC are African American children .She told us that for some reason African American's don't usually go through the adoption process unless someone in their family relinquishes their rights to their own children. She said its not being critical of African American's but merely stating the facts, that for some reason there are not alot of AA's who choose to adopt outside of their own family. With that being said, I have been trying to educate myself on transracial adoption and what "extra" steps I need to make to help them feel comfortable, a part of our family, and accepted no matter what they look like. I was reading one of my favorite transracial blogs this morning and was trying to catch up on posts that I had missed and found THIS. WOW... this sums up my feelings, and helps open my eyes up to understanding trans-racial adoption a little more... Here is a little bit of her in-sight..
"One of the questions I’m often asked by prospective adoptive parents is . . . how hard is it to raise a child of another race?  This is such a tricky question, because it many ways, it really isn’t hard at all.  Race isn’t something I think about in our day-to-day routine. By and large, parenting my boys is no different than parenting my girls.  I still have the same hopes, dreams, fears, and insecurities as a mom . . . I’m still largely concerned with the day-to-day minutiae that every mom of every race is concerned with.  How are they doing in school?  How are they doing socially?  Are they kind and compassionate?  Should they be in more activities? Are we overscheduled?  How long can I really go without bathing them?  You know . . . typical parenting questions. 

Race is rarely a factor in my daily decision making, but at the same time it’s always something I’m considering.  It’s an undercurrent – an extra layer in the juggling act that is parenting my four kids.  As I’m deciding what sports the boys will play, I’m thinking about timing and schedule and prices, but I’m also considering which neighborhood facility is more likely to have a diverse team so that they aren’t the only children of color.  As I’m signing Jafta up for cub scouts, I’m weighing out if it’s worth the drive and evening out to put him in the troop at the local AME church, or if I should just sign him up for the after-school troop that’s more convenient.  When it’s time for a haircut, I weight out if I can just buzz his hair at home in a few seconds, or if I should take him to the barbershop because the experience of being the majority for an hour is worth the time it takes.  I think about their race in making decisions, but it’s really no different than I think about other considerations for each of my kids.  I’m also always weighing out our gluten-free diet, the fact that India is introverted, the fact that Karis sunburns after two seconds of outdoor play, the fact that Kembe needs structure, the fact that Jafta has sensory processing disorder. . . I’m not saying this to suggest that race is comparable to a special need.  I’m just pointing out that every parent learns to negotiate their own child’s needs in a way that becomes second nature, and race is a part of our family’s daily negotiation.  This isn’t an experience exclusive to transracial adoption, but it is something that most white people have the privilege of skimming over. It’s not a burden or a “challenge” – it’s something I rarely think about and yet something that is always at the back of my mind. 

http://www.rageagainsttheminivan.com

I have also been reading about preparing myself to what strangers will ask you or say to you... One mom said that she is always approached in restrooms, the park, the grocery store and asked, "Is she YOUR child?" She said, she always tends to get frustrated and says, "YES she is MY child". She says, sometimes they will ask in front of her daughter and she just has to answer the best way she can. She also said that alot of AA's will say, don't you think you should have left her to be raised by an AA? I know I'll have to answer these questions but  should I really HAVE to? It's no one's business really is it?

Wordless Wednesday!!

Adoption Training 4/14

Saturday we went to the SC Department of Social Services office for our first 7 hour training day. Eric and I had no idea what to expect and I was honestly dreading a "school" day. It was nothing like what either of us expected and we had such a fun time! We met some awesome people and made some new friends! Vanessa (you can read her blog HERE) and I had a lot in common and sat next to each other and quickly became friends! It's nice to know other couples who are going through the same things we are and are able to share with us their experiences as well. We watched a few videos and had alot of open discussion about what we as couples/families have to offer these children. We made a list of things we all thought were important and talked about each one. The whole day was such a great experience and we learned a lot of things. Although we did hear some pretty heart wrenching stories about children, it made me even more passionate about helping bring at least one of those children home. After class, Eric and I headed out to lunch and just talked about the day. We both are getting really excited and are trying to get this paperwork done as soon as possible so we can take the next steps to finish the home study process and inspections and be on our way to adding a special child to our family! We have also been talking to Ryder a lot about the adoption and trying to help him understand what is going to happen. He usually says, "Ryder NOT want a brother or sister!" Or when I ask him if he wants a brother/sister he says, "NO MA'AM!!" But lately he is saying, "Mommy pwease give me a baby sista, pwease mommy" so I think he's starting to come around! :) I forgot my camera, so with Vanessa's permission I am stealing these from her blog! :) Thanks Vanessa!!

Playing Catch-Up!

 I am WAY behind on blogging and am going to try and catch up!! Friday Ryder and I went with the Sadler's to go strawberry picking it was SOO much fun! Ryder had his basket full of strawberries before we had even gone 2 feet down the path! This was right up this little boys ally. He got to "pick" food AND eat as much as he wanted!! We had a great time! I forgot my good camera, so these are from my phone :(. They still are pretty cute!! This is something I am going to have to remember to do each year! It was a blast!