Transracial Adoption

When I went to my first adoption meeting and met with our caseworker we had to choose if we would accept children of any race. Without hesitation I said, Yes. I never hesitated, and I'm still not hesitant I know that God will place us with the right child whether he/she is black or white or Chinese or Hispanic. She let me know that by saying that, we will most likely get an African American child. She explained to us that most of the orphans in SC are African American children .She told us that for some reason African American's don't usually go through the adoption process unless someone in their family relinquishes their rights to their own children. She said its not being critical of African American's but merely stating the facts, that for some reason there are not alot of AA's who choose to adopt outside of their own family. With that being said, I have been trying to educate myself on transracial adoption and what "extra" steps I need to make to help them feel comfortable, a part of our family, and accepted no matter what they look like. I was reading one of my favorite transracial blogs this morning and was trying to catch up on posts that I had missed and found THIS. WOW... this sums up my feelings, and helps open my eyes up to understanding trans-racial adoption a little more... Here is a little bit of her in-sight..
"One of the questions I’m often asked by prospective adoptive parents is . . . how hard is it to raise a child of another race?  This is such a tricky question, because it many ways, it really isn’t hard at all.  Race isn’t something I think about in our day-to-day routine. By and large, parenting my boys is no different than parenting my girls.  I still have the same hopes, dreams, fears, and insecurities as a mom . . . I’m still largely concerned with the day-to-day minutiae that every mom of every race is concerned with.  How are they doing in school?  How are they doing socially?  Are they kind and compassionate?  Should they be in more activities? Are we overscheduled?  How long can I really go without bathing them?  You know . . . typical parenting questions. 

Race is rarely a factor in my daily decision making, but at the same time it’s always something I’m considering.  It’s an undercurrent – an extra layer in the juggling act that is parenting my four kids.  As I’m deciding what sports the boys will play, I’m thinking about timing and schedule and prices, but I’m also considering which neighborhood facility is more likely to have a diverse team so that they aren’t the only children of color.  As I’m signing Jafta up for cub scouts, I’m weighing out if it’s worth the drive and evening out to put him in the troop at the local AME church, or if I should just sign him up for the after-school troop that’s more convenient.  When it’s time for a haircut, I weight out if I can just buzz his hair at home in a few seconds, or if I should take him to the barbershop because the experience of being the majority for an hour is worth the time it takes.  I think about their race in making decisions, but it’s really no different than I think about other considerations for each of my kids.  I’m also always weighing out our gluten-free diet, the fact that India is introverted, the fact that Karis sunburns after two seconds of outdoor play, the fact that Kembe needs structure, the fact that Jafta has sensory processing disorder. . . I’m not saying this to suggest that race is comparable to a special need.  I’m just pointing out that every parent learns to negotiate their own child’s needs in a way that becomes second nature, and race is a part of our family’s daily negotiation.  This isn’t an experience exclusive to transracial adoption, but it is something that most white people have the privilege of skimming over. It’s not a burden or a “challenge” – it’s something I rarely think about and yet something that is always at the back of my mind. 

http://www.rageagainsttheminivan.com

I have also been reading about preparing myself to what strangers will ask you or say to you... One mom said that she is always approached in restrooms, the park, the grocery store and asked, "Is she YOUR child?" She said, she always tends to get frustrated and says, "YES she is MY child". She says, sometimes they will ask in front of her daughter and she just has to answer the best way she can. She also said that alot of AA's will say, don't you think you should have left her to be raised by an AA? I know I'll have to answer these questions but  should I really HAVE to? It's no one's business really is it?